Ride The Lightning
by CriminallyInsane
Summary: Everyone reflects on their lives, transformers are no different. Let's see what happens when Starscream realizes certain things about himself and how that will effect everyone around him. WILL CONTAIN SLASH
1. Chapter 1

The wind whistled past his audios as he made a sharp turn to avoid another pointless attempt from those insufferable autobots to blast him out of the sky. _Idiots_, he thought as he continued firing. He wasn't aiming at anyone particular; he fired just to appear interested.

There they were again, trying to steal more energon from the humans simply to survive. At what point did they stop being warriors and did they become thieves? He remembered a time when he was proud to be a decepticon, a warrior of cybertron. Now, he was nothing more than a coward, a traitor and now a thief. Images flashed across his CPU as he remembered first donning the decepticon insignia and the pride he felt. Now, they were his torment, reminders of his life gone astray.

His gaze roamed across the battlefield until he caught sight of his ex-friend Skyfire in the distance attending to the wounded autobots. His mind began to drift again, now to a time long passed when he and Skyfire would talk about where they saw themselves in the future. Skyfire dreamed of discoveries and inventions that would better the cybertronian race. Dreams that never came thanks to him, Starscream thought bitterly. As for himself, to be known as the greatest seeker to ever grace the skies was his only dream. At least he could say he accomplished that, he thought as he effortlessly avoided another shot, this time from their weapons specialist. Unconscientiously, he answered back with a shot of his own that hit the autobot square in his chest, rendering him immobile. He didn't even register his hit on target as his mind was still elsewhere.

He was only pulled from his reverie when he heard what he'd been waiting for; Megatron's order to retreat. He hadn't been paying much attention to the battle below but he suspected that Prime had turned the tables on their illustrious leader and sensing the change in the tide of the battle, Megatron called for the retreat.

He quickly turned heel and fled with the rest of the decepticons, his trine mates joining on either side of him. The flight back would have seemed like the norm, had it not been for the underlying fury Megatron directed at their SIC. On second thought, Starscream thought, there was nothing unusual about the flight back.

Starscream ignored the comm. requests from his trine mates, instead focusing on the raising tower of the nemesis in the distance and steeling himself for another encounter with their leader. As they landed and filed into the control room, Starscream found himself airborne again, this time, flying right into a control panel on the opposite side of the room.

He landed with a grunt and fell to the floor. He slowly pushed himself up to a standing position but before he could speak, he felt a familiar hand grab his throat and squeeze off his vocal controls as well as his air intake and his sight began to strain because of it. It would have been frightening to any other mech but he was used to the sensation.

"You stupid FOOL!" Megatron yelled as he flung Starscream again. Ravage had managed to leap out of the way just before Starscream landed face down where the cassetticon was standing a mere moment ago.

Starscream watched as the cassetticon transformed and leapt into soundwave's chest. He felt envy at the small bot before his focus shifted back to the reason he was lying on the ground, now staring where Ravage was safe within Soundwave. He tried to rise but he felt a large ped on his back, forcing him back down.

"Your constant failures are beginning to irritate me." Megatron stated rather calmly.

_That doesn't sound good_, he thought before he heard the telltale sign of a fusion cannon powering up.

"Lord Megatron…" his whiny voice trailed off when he realized something strange. He'd spoken his name more out of reflex than anything. Truth be told, he didn't care what Megatron was going to do one bit and he felt a hint of something he couldn't identify.

"What is it, Starscream?" Megatron asked enticingly, waiting for the groveling seeker he knew so well to emerge. He did rather enjoy hearing Starscream beg for mercy.

Starscream thought for a moment before he answered in a tone that even surprised him, "you're a fragging idiot."

He heard the gasps in the room right before he heard a fusion cannon blast… and then nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: **__Okay, I was in such a hurry to publish chapter 1 that I totally forgot to leave a quick message. First, I have absolutely NO idea who I'm going to pair Starscream with. It's up in the air between several transformers who would love the job but I pretty much know how this is all going to play out so if there's someone who you guys have in mind and it fits where I'm taking this, I might just listen. Second, I just wanted to extend my thanks to the readers who left reviews. THANKS! Well, here's chapter 2, enjoy! Oh, and I've updated the summary of the story because this will contain some robot lovin'…eventually. But that always makes me wonder, how can there be slash when they're ROBOTS? *shrugs* I don't know, I guess that's just the way it is._

_By the way, Hasbro owns these characters, not me._

_4 Earth months before…_

Victory! It was small, Starscream would admit, but it was a victory nonetheless. The decepticons had managed to obtain more than 300 cubes of energy from the human's power plant before the autobots put a stop to their free for all. True, the amount was lower than the 600 they'd intended but much more than the several dozen or so they would generally get away with.

After Astrotrain finished transporting the energon back to the nemesis, they all piled in the mess hall to each take the portion they were owed and before some was put some in storage with the rest being sent to Cybertron and to Soundwave's care. Megatron received the most out of anyone. Next, as second in command, was Starscream, who would take his share and a little extra because he knew his trine mates would want more than was given to them and so he saw to it that they received their fill as well. He watched as Soundwave did the same for his little minions. Another mech Starscream insured received more than their fair share was Hook. Not that he liked him or anything but he needed him for a certain type of remedy that he didn't provide in the med bay.

After they were finished, each mech returned to either their quarters or the rec. room to rest after a hard fought day. Once Starscream thought the chances of running into anyone were slim, he made his way to Hook's quarters, knowing he would be there to "tend" to the extra energon that had been provided to him. He overrode the code and stepped in.

"What, back for more already?" an exasperated Hook said with a frown as he tried to quickly put away the data pads that were strewn about his desk.

Starscream caught a glimpse of some type of schematic on one of the pads but it didn't interest him. The medic thought of himself as a scientist of sorts but Starscream considered him mediocre at best, though, he did have a certain skill that he had to concede was quite invaluable.

Hook didn't like it when the seeker would enter at free will but it was a perk of being the SIC. "I knew you consumed it more than recommended but I just gave you 5 the other week. No one could possibly use that much." As he spoke, his expression changed from the realization of just how much the seeker had been asking for lately. "You know more than anyone the dangers of overconsumption. It could-"

"It's none of your concern." The red seeker interrupted with a dangerous tone, his ruby red optics narrowing as his blue servos balled into fists at his side. "I'll take whatever you've got prepared and you'd do well to remember that without me, you're little side hobby would be no more." A threat Starscream knew he wouldn't follow up on but he wasn't in the mood for a lecture, not that he was ever in for one.

Hook took note of his disposition and nodded, not wanting a conflict with his "supplier". He disappeared to retrieve what Starscream came for from the hidden panel in his wash rack. It wasn't as nice as the ones that the officer's had but he was lucky to even have one.

Unknown to Hook, Starscream did in fact know where and how to get to them but why take them when Hook would readily give them to Starscream in exchange for supplying the energon needed to make the valuable product.

Hook reappeared and handed him 6 smaller than average cubes which Starscream quickly subspaced away. Hook may not have been known as the greatest medic to grace the decepticon army but he made a high grade that could not be found anywhere else.

After receiving what he came for and Hooks' desired duty schedule that the SIC would ensure was given to keep the "medic" ever generous, he left without another word.

Once back at his quarters, he found his trine mates waiting for him.

"Did you get some?" Skywarp asked, quickly making his way towards him expectantly.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." Starscream answered with an unreadable expression causing Thundercraker to chime in who was currently sprawled out on Starscream's berth.

"Come on Screamer, don't hold out on us!" he exclaimed with a pout.

After a few moments of keeping his trine in the dark, a smile formed on Starscream's gunmetal lips and he produced the 6 gleaming cubes to his trine mates.

"Primus, Starscream, that'll last for months!" Skyward exclaimed excitingly as he watched Starscream place them down on the table and he quickly grabbed one of the small cubes.

"Hey Warp, did you bring the …" Starscream's sentence died when he saw one full and two empty energon cubes on the floor beside his berth. "Why can't you be like this all the time?" the amused seeker asked.

Skywarp simply shrugged in response as they gathered on the floor by Starscream's berth. The red and blue seekers watched as Skywarp prepared the drinks, dividing the energon equally between the three cubes and then very carefully, he poured a small amount high grade into each, creating the highly valued concoction.

"To my everlasting aerial dominance, no one will ever match my prowess!" Starscream toasted before adding, "And to the downfall of our _mighty leader_!" using his usual screechy voice to punctuate the words at the end of the toast. They clanked their glasses while Thundercraker and Skyward simply rolled their optics and began to sip the powerful drink. It wasn't long before all three were giggling like femmes as they recalled the battle earlier.

"I swear!" Skywarp yelled, looking hurt as Starscream and Thundercrakers' laughter grew in volume at his declaration.

"Your s'fragging lyin'!" TC managed to get out between fits. Starscream couldn't utter a word as he rolled on this side, his head landing in TC's lap, laughing so hard, he saw spots of light dance around his vision. Thundercraker simply landed on top of his commander, his own laughter getting to him as well. Skywarp loved to exaggerate his feats. One example was the current claim of an impossible shot he scored on Optimus Prime.

"I DID, I 'IT HIM SHWERE 'N HIS CHESS!" Skywarp yelled loudly with a bit of trouble while pointing to his own chest. This caused the two other seekers to roll on the ground face first, pounding it with their fists as they were overcome with laughter. Soon, Skywarp was starting to giggle. It was contagious.

"Maybe it wuz his shoulder." He admitted as the two others continued their laughter beside him, now nodding in response. Now it was Skywarp's turn to join his trine mates. "I don' think he fel' it though." All three howled with laughter as their wings twitched wildly.

After a few moments, their laughter died down to giggles and Starscream made his way over to Skywarp to nuzzle his cheek with his own. It wasn't a sexual gesture; it was common among seekers to show affection to one another by doing this. It also proved that if Starscream was anything, he was always nice when he drank with his trine.

"Hey 'Warp, did you see what happened to Screamer just before we landed?" Thundercracker asked his swaying mate. Even though all three had consumed about an equal share, Skywarp was much more sensitive to the high grade. And so, he would become inebriated a lot sooner than the other two seekers, always to their amusement. It took a bit more to affect Thundercraker and much more than either of them knew to get Starscream really that "tipsy"as Skywarp put it.

Starscream had returned to his spot beside Thundercraker and glared at him to convey the message _"SHUT UP!"_

Skywarp's giggling increased at the hint of a funny story. "No, wha?" he asked as he tried wipe away the coolant that had gathered below his optics but only managed to poke one of them. It only made him laugh more.

Thundercracker took a rather large gulp from his cube before starting, "Well, he was flying just below Thrust when Thrust nudged ol' Screamer here with his underside!" he recalled while trying to get away from Starscream who was now trying to physically shut Thundercraker's mouth. Thundercracker managed to get Skywarp in between them as he nearly laughed himself sick.

"I tol' you 'creamer, he likes you!" Skywarp replied while trying not to laugh because Starscream didn't seem to be taking it as friendly banter.

In fact, Starscream didn't find the event even remotely funny which was evident by the scowl that turned Starscream's usually handsome face into what would be described as absolutely evil and it quieted their laughter rather quickly. He'd given up on trying to strangle his trine mate and had returned to his spot, furious at the gossiping seeker.

"What did you tell him?" Thundercracker asked after he had calmed himself, not only because of Starscream's reaction but because of his fear of a tank purge.

Starscream didn't respond to the question at first as he replayed the scene in his memory banks. Why had he done that? He knew Thrust had always not so secretly lusted for him, but he never gave the hint of remotely reciprocating the feelings. What Thrust had done was a blatant display of courtship in his optics and it more than deeply infuriated him. He remembered his threat as he transformed into his bipedal mode below Thrust, who was still in jet mode, and he answered Thundercracker's question.

"I told the son of a glitch that if he ever, _ever_ did that again, I would stuff his own interface cable down his slit throat." Starscream stated in a deadly tone and then turned away to stare at the half empty cube of high grade sitting beside him.

His trine mates were taken back by what they had just witnessed. For one, the tone of his voice that they knew wasn't as irritating as most believed was now unrecognizable nor from his verbal reaction to what was considered an innocent display of affection among seekers. They were startled by the feeling they sensed coming from Starscream's end of their trinebond. It wasn't like a bond between mated pairs, which Thundercracker and Skywarp shared, but seekers did posses very limited telepathic abilities that enabled them to form a special bond with each other, a trinebond. Dirge and Ramjet were a mated pair so they assumed since the leaders of both trines were not, they would be drawn to each other and bond, quite a natural thing for seekers. But given Starscream's unexpected reaction, apparently that wasn't going to happen after all.

As soon as they felt it, Starscream immediately cut off the feed, not comfortable with knowing they caught a glimpse of what he felt but it was too late. They already knew what it was that the red and white seeker tried to hide, pure _hatred_. There was an awkward moment before Thundercracker ended the silence.

"Well, that'll teach him…I guess." he muttered, unsure of what else to say.

The silence returned again. Starscream sat looking oddly at the half empty cube of high grade beside him while Skywarp drifted in and out of consciousness as the full effects of their drinking hit him. Thundercracker's gaze was fixated on his trine leader. He didn't know if he should try to console him for reasons he didn't know or if he should ignore the whole situation and he instantly regretted bringing up the subject. Why did Starscream react so strongly? Before he could further analyze the bizarre situation, which was very difficult after their activities, Starscream rose to his peds.

"I've been waiting to do this." Starscream stated, his earlier demeanor having returned, much to Thundercracker's surprise, though deep down he knew better.

Before Thundercracker could register what he said given his current state, he watched as Starscream withdrew white paint from his subspace and made his way over to the now fully recharging Skywarp, who had fallen on his side next to the berth. He watched as Starscream wrote something on the front of his purple chassis. He couldn't see what it was he was writing but when Starscream was finished, he moved out of the way of Thundercracker's view to gain access to Skywarp's backside and continued. His front read "I SHOT OPTIMUS PRIME WITH MY BIG GUN" with an arrow pointing to his codpiece.

Thundercracker began laughing hysterically, finally feeling the full effects of their drinking himself. After Starscream finished, they began mocking various crew members, one of their favorite drinking traditions, the moment of awkwardness momentarily forgotten. Thundercracker didn't remember going into recharge that night.

XXX

He woke up the next morning with a processor ache straight from the pit. He found himself cuddled with Skywarp on the floor beside Starscream's empty berth with Skywarp's arm snaked around his waist and face buried in his neck. His wings were sure going to be sore after this, he thought to himself as he began to unfold them from their awkward position. After a few moments of gathering his strength, he unwrapped himself from Skywarp's grasp, waking his bondmate in the process who let out a long groan while covering his optics with his hands as the light in the room assaulted them.

Primus, I'm never drinking that stuff again." Skywarp said dismally as he too felt the pains of their _fun _from the previous night.

"You say that every time." Thundercracker said, half annoyed, half amused. "Where's Screamer?" he asked, glancing around the empty room from his now seated position.

"I don't know, I don't CARE!" Skywarp replied, rolling on his back as he prepared himself to rise on his peds.

By then, Thundercracker had risen and began looking for their leader. He opened the door to Starscream's private wash racks and found him curled in a ball in the far corner, his back to the seeker. Thundercracker thought of waking him but decided against it and left him there to fully recharge. He wondered how he had ended up in his current position but figured he must have felt sick sometime during the night and he closed the door on his recharging commander. He returned to the living area where he found Skywarp still lying down, rubbing his helm in obvious pain.

"Come on, let's go, we've got second shift today and we're going to be late." Thundercracker said, smiling at the message written on the front of Skywarp. He thought of telling Skywarp about it but he did enjoy a good joke, even if it was on his mate. _He's going to be popular around the base today_, he thought with a smirk.

Skywarp rose to his peds on his own, completely unaware of anything different and made his way for the door, Thundercracker following close behind. Thundercracker let out a fuel churning laugh when he read the message on his back, "BUT HE DIDN'T FEEL IT".

"What's so funny?" Skywarp asked, annoyed by any sound at the moment.

"Nothing, just something Screamer said last night." He replied, trying to block out the thought of purging.

"Speaking of last night-"

"Let's talk about it later." Thundercracker interrupted, not wanting to get into it at the moment. Right now, he needed some warm energon to calm his churning tanks.

XXX

"So, Soundwave, I've heard you like to kiss aft. Would you kiss mine?" Starscream asked, mocking Megatron. He was their favorite to impersonate and surprisingly, no one could do it better.

"Aaa -affirmative, Lord Mega-…" Thundercracker started before he fell into recharge mid sentence. His head drooped backwards and he chassis began to follow. Starscream caught him and for an instant, the idea of painting on him crossed his processor but the thought died when he remembered the moment of awkwardness that occurred earlier.

He laid Thundercracker beside his mate, watching as they instinctively embraced each other and he couldn't stop the wave of bitterness that washed over him at the sight. He did care for his trine mates greatly, perhaps one could say loved them, but he sometimes found himself jealous of what they shared and this only brought on more feelings which after countless millennia of practice, he could suppress and bury. However, it was becoming more and more difficult lately. He really didn't know why but he figured it was probably due to Thrust and his escalating "attentions". In fact, this wasn't the first time he had an encounter with the black seeker but nothing like today and he hoped he had put a stop to it before it became worse.

After watching his fellow seekers in recharge for a few moments, he lifted himself off the floor, grabbing the half full cube of high grade with the intention of putting it away but as he watched the contents swirl in his blue servo, he remembered the feeling that Thrust's actions had brought out of him. He shuddered as memories from long ago assaulted him and he quickly made his way to his wash racks, needing to be alone. He shut the door behind him and sat in the corner of the room. Flashes of those haunting memories invaded his processor, memories that he didn't want to ever see again and he quickly downed the remaining contents of the cube that he still held, grimacing as its extreme bitterness made contact with his glossa.

The reaction was almost instantaneous. Soon after, his processor flashed the warning sign of possible stasis lock due to the sudden increase of contaminates coursing through his fuel lines, not that he cared. _Thank Primus for you Hook_, he thought as he felt himself slip away, falling on his side, his wings bending awkwardly at the angle he ended up at. He hugged his own chassis, praying he would not see those painful memories of them, of _him_ again before his overworked systems finally gave way and he slipped into a fitful recharge.

XXX

It was the dream again, he felt himself lost in it, never able to change the outcome. Thank Primus he woke to the sound of laughter and his entrance doors sliding closed before the scene that has plagued his recharge as of late had finished.

He lifted himself up from the floor of his wash rack, the empty cube of high grade dropping from his grasp. His vision was laced with static and he felt himself sway before he leaned against the wall and slid down, his wings scraping painfully against the wall until he was seated on the hard cold floor. He began to cry chassis rattling sobs, coolant flowing freely from his dim ruby optics while hugging his slim legs to himself and burying his face in his knee armor. Soon after, he saw the warning sign of an impending tank purge in the corner of his vision. He leaned over and purged on the floor, watching as the room began to spin, the side of his face lowering into the unprocessed energon and high grade. By the grace of Primus, he fell into a dreamless recharge.

_That high grade is some pretty potent stuff. My take on it is that it could be harmful if taken in anything but small amounts and even that's not totally okay either. Now just so you know, this isn't about Starscream being a robot drunk or anything. Sometimes, you just need a place to hide and it's not like he has a lot of those._


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: **__Okey doke, here's chapter 3. Sorry for the wait, I just didn't think it was going to be so hard finishing this chapter up. *sighs* _

* * *

'_What happened?'_ His processor felt like someone had taken a torch to it and his wings felt about the same as they twitched in pain when he tried to move them. He hadn't on-lined his optics but briefly wondered if it was the high grade he should thank for his current state but memories of Megatron and his fusion cannon crossed his mind and he instantly knew what he was feeling. '_I guess I'm not dead' _he thought.

"No, you're not."

The response jolted him as it dawned on him that he'd spoken out loud and he on-lined his optics, instantly regretting it as it seemed to cause the pain in his now throbbing processor to double. He let out a long, static laced groan as a berth came into view and he realized he was lying face down in the med bay. He looked to where the voice originated and saw Hook standing not too far to his right with a subtle look of fury on his face. Starscream let out another groan as he tried to push himself up but only got about halfway before he crashed back down with a grunt of pain.

"You know, usually, I have Megatron to thank for keeping me busy with you. Imagine my surprise when I found that who I have to thank this time is you." He spoke, his voice hinting at the anger brewing just below the surface.

"I don't know what you're talking about, that fragger shot me in the back." The sore seeker meant to sound a lot more forceful than his barely audible voice let on.

"I know, but that's not the reason you're here. The wound's mostly superficial, there was really no point in wasting my time to fix you, your internals will do the job just fine now that you're out of stasis. Anyway, your _condition_ needed to be diagnosed, so-," he paused as he watched Starscream renew his efforts to rise to a sitting position, this time, succeeding with no help from said medic, not that any would be given. "I ran a systems' diagnostic and learned something very interesting." his anger reaching the tipping point as he finished his sentence.

Starscream shot him the nastiest glare he could muster given his current state but Hook was not at all intimidated. The injured seeker knew where this was going and he wanted out, fast!

"Imagine my surprise when it came back showing that _10 PERCENT _of the energon in your fuel lines was _SYNTHETIC_!" by now, he was visibly livid. "AND NOT JUST ANY SYNTHETIC, IT WAS _MY_ SYNTHETIC!" he roared at the grimacing seeker. He began to pace back and forth, breathing an intake of air to calm down before continuing. "I had to filter your entire fuel system to bring you out. I'm surprised you were able to function at all considering how overworked your systems were. Do you know what Megatron would do if he found out that I've been supplying you with that much high grade? It'll be me needing medical attention!" he huffed, obviously unnerved about the situation. "He wants to know why you went into stasis lock and as much as I hate it, I'll have to lie for you." The medic glared at the seeker before turning away. "I'll just tell him you blew a processor relay..._somehow_." he flung his hands in the air as he was talking more to himself than his patient.

"Don't get your fuel lines in a tangle, you moron." Starscream finally replied, shaking off some of the disorientation he felt at sitting up. He took note that he'd been out for about 3 earth days and briefly wondered where his trine was at but felt the sudden urge to be alone. "I just got carried away. It won't happen again, not that it's any concern of yours." he finished with his usual sharp tone. He got to his peds and made his way to the exit, wanting nothing more than to return to his quarters and his berth.

Without a look back, he exited the med bay and entered the crowded hallway, not looking up as he made his way to his quarters. He took note of the drop in volume of the conversations as he passed his fellow decepticons. He also heard a few snickers and not so pleasant comments but he just ignored them, not wanting to speak to anyone. As soon as he was in front of his quarters, he punched in the code and entered. He briefly thought of using his wash racks but decided against it considering the state his back and wings were still in. He laid face down on the berth and checked his system gauges to make sure his internal repairs were still in working order. He would have to wait till after a good recharge before he could wash up. After all, stasis lock was very different from recharge and he felt his body begging for recharge. However, before he fully initiated the recharge process, he was startled yet again.

_**CRACK!**_

It was Skywarp's entrance that disturbed Starscream's rest as he suddenly appeared with Thundercracker. Starscream was definitely not in the mood for company and reacted as such.

"GO AWAY!" Starscream bellowed, turning his head and body as best he could so they couldn't see his face. He hated when they saw him like this.

"We've had enough of this, Screamer. We want to know what's going on with you." Thundercracker demanded, taking note of the condition of Starscream's back and wings. They looked bad but that didn't explain why their trine leader had gone into stasis lock and they knew it wasn't because of Megatron or his punishment. Starscream had withstood a lot more damage at the hands of their leader in the past and walked away. With Starscream not answering, it was Skywarp's turn to try to get him to talk.

"Come on, Starscream. We're trine and we're really worried about you. Why have you been avoiding us? What made you go into stasis?" Skywarp usually wasn't so caring but their leader's recent actions had really gotten to him and he was genuinely concerned. When his questions went unanswered, Skywarp approached the berth and gently laid a hand on his left wing which was less damaged. Starscream tensed but didn't move away so the purple seeker started to rub small circles on his wing to comfort him. Even though they seemed not to care much about him in front of others, their bond was unbreakable and they were devoted to him. In reality, it was Starscream who preferred not to show the extent of their trine bond to anyone, something they never understood.

Thundercracker watched as the two interacted, feeling the comforting emotions Skywarp conveyed to Starscream which he briefly accepted before he abruptly closed his side of the bond. The blue seeker noted that he'd been doing that a lot lately and he wanted to find out why but he knew he couldn't force it out of him. After a few minutes of trying to re-establish their bond with the stubborn seeker, Thundercracker sighed before he spoke, "Starscream, we're here if you need us." He gave Starscream one last look before he motioned to Skywarp, who was now sitting at the edge of the berth, that it was time they go and they quietly exited the room, using the door this time.

Now that they were gone, the injured seeker tried again to go into recharge but he found his processor refused to shut down as he felt the involuntary stirring of his memory banks. He got up from the berth and made his way over to his desk and sat in the chair, grimacing as he did so. Beneath it was a secret subspace that contained his stash of high grade. When he opened it and found the 2 cubes inside, he grabbed one in hopes it would help him into recharge. However, as he brought the cube to his lips, he felt anger at himself for what he perceived as yet another progressing weakness and hurled it at the purple wall across from him, watching as it shattered and spilled its contents all over as he painfully slumped into his chair.

As he sat at his desk, he desperately tried to ignore the painful memories begging for release. Instead, he remembered the question Thundercracker asked and he knew the reason he didn't answer was because he didn't know himself. '_You know very well what your malfunction is.'_ he told himself. At that, he quickly changed his train of thought and thought back to their failed raid attempt and knew the reason why Megatron was angry at him was for not following his orders. He was supposed to help guard the entrance to the plant but he'd wandered off, lost in his thoughts. Something he told himself was a very foolish thing that could've resulted in a far worse consequence than the incident involving his 'commander'. He remembered not caring about anything and the moment of…relief it gave him. Not caring for the decepticon cause, the war or the consequences of not following orders was a _relief_. He then remembered his comment to Megatron before the glitch shot him and he couldn't help but smirk at the thought of Megatron's face when he'd heard his response.

He got up and made his way back to his berth, laying face down again as his mind continued to race. He told himself that he simply couldn't let his unstable emotions get the better of him. He knew of a way to get this under control and even though he'd been avoiding it, it was the only solution that didn't result in corroding his internals. He reminded himself why he was a decepticon and that it simply wasn't an option to walk away from what he fought so hard for, for _whom_ he fought so hard for, even if he didn't agree with the tactics he was forced to use.

Only after coming up with a solution to finally put his spiraling emotions in check was he able to enter recharge.

XXX

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

'_By primus, this is so boring.'_

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP

Skywarp sat in the empty control room staring at the radar screen that would show an attack by the autobots. It was his turn at the late shift and as usual, he was having trouble containing the urge to transport to his sleeping bondmate for some late night interfacing. He thought of the things he would do to his mate and the fun they could have and smiled. However, his thoughts drifted to his last conversation with TC and the subject of Starscream. Something was definitely wrong with their trine leader but they just couldn't figure it out. True, Starscream was always a little…off… to say the least but this was different. Skywarp and Thundercracker both agreed that this all started before the incident with Thrust but it did seem to have destabilized the state of Starscream's moods even more than they were normally in. Usually, he was defiant in front of everyone but recently, he'd become withdrawn, even from his own trine, something made obvious from their earlier attempt to get their leader to talk. He knew that Starscream was not in the mood to speak to them, especially when injured but they were worried. Not to mention the confrontation with Megatron after the last raid. He recalled the comment that resulted in Starscream being carried off to the med bay by Megatron himself. Both he and Thundercracker both admitted that it was highly unusual for Megatron to show fear but they did see a glimpse of it when he realized Starscream had entered stasis lock. They weren't certain if anyone else noticed but they knew for sure it was concern they saw on Megatron's face.

As he sat pondering over his trine leader, he didn't hear the doors open and a figure step through. It crept closer to him till it was staring over his shoulder, glancing at the dull screen that Skywarp was absently looking at. It turned its gaze to the back of Skywarp's head, lifted a servo and poked the said seeker's head as hard as it could.

"AAAHHHHHH!" Skywarp let out a scream as he stumbled to his feet, nearly hitting his face on the console as he spun around to see who had nearly scared the slag out of him.

"BY PRIMUS STARSCREAM, YOU NEARLY SCARED ME TO DEATH!" He shouted at the red seeker who was leaning back on a console, a smug look on his face with his arms folded in front of him. He noticed how much better he looked after nearly an earth day of recharging.

"Don't act like such a weak little sparkling, 'Warp. Who were you expecting, some soft-platted autobot to come and get you?" Starscream replied with an amused grin. He pushed himself off the console and made his way over to the still shaking purple seeker. He instinctively went to nuzzle his face but stopped, not wanting to do so in such a public place even though they were alone. Instead, he patted the purple seeker on the shoulder.

"I've been meaning to speak to you and TC alone for a while now. Can we talk for a moment, really quick?" Suddenly, he looked unsure of himself. He stared off to the wall on the opposite side of the room, unable to look Skywarp in the optics.

"Umm…" he hesitated, wondering what made the recently reclusive seeker want to talk to them now, especially since his tantrum the day before. "…sure…my shift ends in-"

"No, we need to talk now. It won't take long." Starscream interrupted a bit anxiously.

Skywarp considered him for a moment before he nodded and took hold of his arm. He looked at Starscream, waiting for his response to which Starscream simply nodded back. Skywarp then teleported them to his and Thundercracker's quarters.

After getting over the nauseous feeling he felt from teleporting, Starscream turned his attention to his trine mates, watching as Skywarp not so gently woke Thundercracker up with a light kick to the recharging seeker's ped that was dangling over the side of the berth. Starscream smiled a little at the thought of how he could recharge through such an entrance but concluded that he must have been used to it after so long. He then remembered why he was there in the first place and his nerves overtook him again as he suddenly became interested in his digits.

"Not now, Warp. I'm recharging." he turned away, oblivious to their visitor. "Just do it yourself, I'm not in the mood." he said as he adjusted to his new position.

"Get up. Starscream wants to talk with us." Skywarp said, blushing a bit at his bondmate's last statement.

"What?" he asked as he rolled over to see what in the name of primus he was talking about when Starscream came into view. He was standing in the far corner of the room, fiddling with his digits, looking very nervous. Thundercracker shook off his grogginess as he got up from the berth, glad that Starscream finally decided to open up to them as Skywarp stood off to the side, waiting for Starscream to start.

All three stood staring, Starscream at his servos with Thundercracker and Skywarp staring at their leader. Just when they thought Starscream wasn't going to say anything after all, they were shocked beyond measure. Starscream suddenly took a step forward, lowering his servos to his sides and bent his wings as far back as they would go which made him appear to not even have them if you were standing right in front of him. For a seeker to do this was an act of submission that was only shown under extreme circumstances. For Starscream, they had never seen him use the posture since they had known him and they knew there was definitely something wrong with the seeker.

"First, I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for my recent actions." He said, bending his head as he spoke. He took a step forward before he continued, still staring at the floor. "I know I haven't been myself lately and I've been pushing you away. I think that's why I haven't been able to control these…emotions." He said after a moment of hesitation. He planned to reveal some of the issues he's been having but not all of them, he just couldn't. "I understand you have a lot of questions but I simply can't answer all of them." He sighed, wishing there was another way of doing this. "I went into stasis because the levels of high grade in my fuel lines caused my system to go into emergency stasis so that I wouldn't off line." He said, looking meeker than he ever had in their optics. "I'm unstable and…I need your help." he admitted shamefully, biting on his lower lip after he finished his sentence. He prepared himself for the imminent pain he knew for sure was coming. However, moments passed in silence and he raised his head to see his trine mate's expressions when nothing happened. What he saw hurt his very spark.

Thundercracker stood, shaking his head in disbelief, his optics flush with coolant. "You mean to tell us that you did this to yourself? How could you?" he asked with his servos on his hips, his disappointment taking over his features. Skywarp stood still with a small stream of coolant of his own flowing down his face.

"I…I'm sorry." It was the only reply Starscream could come up with as he lowered his head again.

"Why did you-"Skywarp started but couldn't finish. He knew Starscream couldn't or wouldn't answer the question so he didn't even bother asking.

Silence fell between them again and Starscream briefly thought that this wasn't such a good idea. Just then, he heard both of them approach him and he tensed even more. However, he felt a pair of hands begin to stroke his wings and he instantly felt the assault of affectionate emotions invade his systems. Both Skywarp and Thundercracker conveyed their devotion to him simultaneously and he felt so relieved that they would still embrace him so after he revealed he had caused himself severe damage, putting their trine bond in serious jeopardy. Before he could even think about it more, he felt a servo lift his chin up and he found himself optic to optic with Skywarp who then nuzzled his face with his own and it took all Starscream had not to break down at the embrace.

Now that their trine bond was fully opened, they felt what Starscream was feeling and they both embraced the troubled seeker as if he were an injured sparkling. They felt the pain and despair that they couldn't understand and they stood, holding on to each other as Starscream lost himself in their reassurances. As they felt their systems beginning to link with one another, both Skywarp and Thundercracker winced as they felt the chaos that Starscream's thoughts and emotions were in and they briefly wondered how long had he been functioning like so. After a few long uncomfortable moments, they were able to calm the angry incoherent swirl of thoughts that was Starscream's mind, extending their stable emotions to their leader. They couldn't read what thoughts they were as their newly strengthened link and their trine bond had its limits but they knew they were the reason why all of the red seeker's systems were erratic. They briefly wondered if maybe this was hurting Starscream but they felt the immense relief this brought the red seeker. After the process was complete, they were overcome with a fleeting sense of euphoria that was the side effect of such an intimate act, behind only interfacing, spark merging and bonding. It had been a long time since they were in tune with their leader like this that they were overjoyed, though they sensed Starscream didn't share in the emotion quite as strongly.

They stood for a long while, getting used to the newly enhanced link when Skywarp jumped up and away from them.

"Primus! If Megatron catches me away from the control room, he'll have my wings dangling from the ceiling!" he said with a worried look, remembering his abandoned post. He gave both Thundercracker and Starscream an apologetic look before he teleported away.

Starscream nodded and turned to leave. Before he reached the door, he stopped and gave Thundercracker a sideways glance. "Thanks, TC…for everything." he said smiling.

Thundercracker was surprised by this but before he could say anything, Starscream stepped out of their quarters, leaving him to ponder about what exactly just happened.

* * *

_Again, sorry it took so long to get this posted. The next one won't take so long, I promise!_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: **__Okay peeps, here's chapter 4. Hope you like! :P_

* * *

Megatron sat at this throne, watching his soldiers work out the details of their next battle plan. This time, his forces were to attack a secret government installation in hopes of obtaining an experimental weapon. It had been three days since Ratbat recorded the conversation between the human soldiers and autobots regarding a potentially powerful weapon they could use against his decepticons. True to autobot weakness, they refused such a weapon as it was designed to destroy the very spark of one of their kind and asked the humans to destroy it, something that the gray leader knew they wouldn't do. Part of his plan was to have his seekers intercept the autobots before they reached the base and stall them. It did put his air fleet in jeopardy but the bright side of this was when he found that in order for the autobots to reach the base, they would have to pass through a rather large canyon. He felt this provided the cover needed for them to disrupt the advancing autobots. After all, most autobots couldn't fly which was very fortunate for his plans and gave his seekers the advantage. The only question that remained was which group of seekers would lead. Normally, it would be Starscream's but his latest stay in the med bay and complete disregard for his commands as of late made the gray leader question whether he was the right choice to lead, a dilemma he felt put his entire air fleet in serious jeopardy. After all, even though Starscream openly questioned his orders, he always followed them, though sometimes needing a bit of persuasion. But he had a plan that would answer whether or not the traitorous seeker had reached his end as leader of his air fleet and second in command.

While he reveled in his thoughts, his SIC entered the control room, walking casually to his post as he normally would. It had been almost a full earth week since their encounter and Megatron evaluated him as he passed by him. He watched as Starscream walked ever so calmly to his station, his movements were fluid and natural, indicating that the seeker was healed and fully functioning. As he sat, not giving the gray gun former a single glance, he began to review the current battle plan. As Starscream read, a small frown crept on his face. Megatron knew he wouldn't be happy about the details of their next plan, he was not happy about them himself. However, he felt confident that such an audacious plan had a good chance at success, as long as his orders were followed to the letter. For that reason, he knew he had to evaluate Starscream to see if he would be up to the task. He looked to Soundwave and gave his TIC a single nod. Soundwave had been watching the entire time, waiting for Megatron's order to proceed as planned and when he received it, he returned to his duties as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

As their shift ended, most made their way to the mess hall for a bit of energon after a day full of planning and preparing, with Megatron and Soundwave the exceptions. Starscream sat next to his trine with three cubes in hand. Normally, he would be happy about returning to duty but this new plan worried him which he voiced not so quietly.

"That fragging idiot is going to get us deactivated." he said as he took a gulp of the purple liquid.

"Come on Screamer, don't start. You just got back." Thundercracker replied, rolling his optics. Sure, he had a point but he was just happy to see Starscream in a somewhat normal state and he didn't want his trine leader to start with the open defiance so soon after they had helped with whatever it was that was eating him. Thundercracker looked at his bondmate who was feeling the same uneasiness as the purple seeker watched for any reactions from nearby decepticons. Starscream looked at both of them before continuing.

"Look, all I'm saying is that this _plan_ is reckless at best. We may be the best but us against all of them??!! That's just…insane." After he finished, he thought about what he just said and he couldn't help but chuckle. Pretty soon, it became outright laughter as he almost dropped his energon, thinking that was the funniest thing he'd ever said. Skywarp and Thundercracker looked at each other and couldn't help but smile, not knowing what exactly what was so funny. As Starscream continued to laugh, the mess hall became silent but none at Starscream's table noticed as they watched the laughing SIC. Oblivious to Starscream and his trine, Soundwave entered followed by Megatron himself. Megatron made his way to the back intent on watching what would happen next. He noted the presence of both groups of seekers and thought now was the perfect time.

"Umm, Starscream…" Thundercracker started, trying to get the still laughing seeker's attention which didn't work. "Starscream!" he shouted a bit louder, hoping that would do the trick. It did as Starscream stopped his fit, noticing that his trine mates were staring at something behind him. Still smiling, he turned to see what they were so interested in and his smile faded rather quickly as he found Soundwave directly behind him, his optics locked on Starscream. In Starscream's peripheral vision, he noticed Megatron and his mind quickly figured out what was happening but he was not at all surprised. He looked back at his trine mates, who were obviously confused by the situation as were the rest of the decepticons that Starscream could see. He knew something like this was going to happen after his brief stint in stasis lock but he didn't think it would be so soon or so blatant. He turned back to his challenger not bothering to get up as he ever so smoothly asked the first question that entered his mind.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Starscream asked, his optics flashing a dangerous glow of red as he prepared himself for what he was going to do.

"Observation: Current second in command unfit to lead. Weakness observed. Suggested resolution: Removal of current second in command necessary." Soundwave responded in his usual monotone voice.

"Really, is that a fact?" Starscream asked mocking surprise as he rose to his peds. Before he could utter another word, Soundwave closed the little distance that separated them as he lunged forward with his fist. Somehow, his sudden blow to hit the table behind the seeker instead, splitting it in half as Starscream narrowly avoided the shot when he quickly shifted to the side. Skywarp and Thundercracker jumped up at the sudden attack as well as the shattering of their table as the rest of the room rose to see the commotion. Before Soundwave could recover from his miss, Starscream managed to connect his elbow to the side of Soundwave's faceplate, sending the broader mech reeling sideways into Thrust's and his trine's now vacant table as they cleared out of the way of the incoming mech. Soundwave was startled by the speed and strength that Starscream seemed to have gained out of nowhere but quickly recovered, ready for Starscream's advance. Much to his surprise, Starscream stood planted in the same spot, looking off in the distance, seemingly bored. Unsure of what to do, he looked at Megatron who, with a serious expression, nodded to the cassette player as he looked back at Starscream.

"Tell me Soundwave, are you _sure_ you want to do this?" Starscream asked again, now making optic contact as he dared the cassette player to answer. As he did, the crowd moved even further back, no one wanting to be on the receiving end for whatever was about to happen between the two. Starscream began to make his way to Thundercracker with his optics still locked onto Soundwave as he waited for his response.

"Affirmative." Soundwave replied, pushing away from the table and kicking the now broken one out of the way. As he neared the center of the room, Soundwave felt something trickle down his chest and realized that energon was flowing from a crack in his mask. Starscream had managed not only to crack his mask but open a wound on Soundwave's unblemished face. This ignited the rage he felt growing exponentially at Starscream as he let out a low growl.

Starscream smirked in response as he removed his null rays from his arms, earning a questioning look from Thundercracker. The red seeker simply smiled as he handed them to blue one and turned back to face Soundwave, taking slow but steady steps in his direction before he stopped, standing at the ready.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Starscream asked, enticing the angered mech further. As he finished the question, Soundwave lunged again, this time, throwing his larger body at Starscream in an attempt overpower him and take him to the ground. However, he was surprised again as Starscream rushed back at him, only faster, and while grabbing Soundwave's shoulders before the telepath knew what was happening, the seeker powered the thruster in his right leg and connected his right knee to Soundwave's midsection, stunning the larger mech's intake system and causing the blue mech to double over. However, Soundwave managed to get a hold of Starscream's left wing and with all the strength he could muster given his current condition, he ripped at the sensitive appendage as hard as he could to try to bring the smaller seeker down. This only earned him a pained grunt and he looked up to find Starscream gripping the blue arm that had a hold of his wing. While trying to recover from Starscream's surprise blow, Soundwave watched as the seeker somehow managed to rip his wing from his grasp, twisting his arm as he did so. Starscream let out a hiss at the damage this caused and in one fluid motion while holding the blue arm straight out, he swung his now weaponless arm upwards into the back of Soundwave's elbow joint, snapping the sensitive pistons and circuits in the weak spot. Soundwave howled in pain as he fell to the ground, clutching his arm as energon began leaking from the joint. Starscream briefly regarded him before he turned away and after retrieving his rays from Thundercracker, exited the room.

Megatron watched as the seeker left the mess hall, stunned by what he witnessed. Starscream moved like he had never seen him move before. Sure, he was always quick but now, he could only be described as lightening fast. Megatron could barely follow the seeker's movements himself, at first when he avoided Soundwave's initial strike and then when he snapped the mech's arm to put an end to his little test. Indeed, he ordered Soundwave to challenge the SIC to see if Starscream was in fact weak and perhaps permanently damaged from his alleged processor blow as he expected but after what he witnessed, he was far from weak. In fact, he seemed to be faster than he had ever seen him which only added to the mystery that has surrounded the seeker ever since their last encounter.

As Soundwave rose to his peds still clutching his arm, Megatron broke away from his thoughts and approached the injured soldier.

"Get to the med bay at once. When you're done, I want you to report to me." Megatron ordered.

Soundwave couldn't answer so he gave a shaky nod and retreated to the med bay, Hook following close behind.

"Hook, you will report to me as well." Megatron said, his tone dangerous, giving Hook a warning.

"Yes, sir," Hook replied timidly, hoping that he would be able to figure out a way to get out of this mess between now and then. He exited behind Soundwave and his cassettes.

Megatron then made his way out of the mess hall himself, wanting nothing more than to replay the day's events alone.

As soon as the door shut behind Megatron, the room burst into conversation, some voices louder than others as they replayed the fight.

"Did you see him snap his arm like that?" Dirge asked Ramjet, mimicking the motion that Starscream used.

"That was insane! I can't believe it, I've never seen him move that fast!" Ramjet replied excitedly.

Thundercracker and Skywarp just listened to everyone's version of what they saw as tables were shuffled back into place. They picked up the broken table that once held their energon which now lay spewed on the floor and discarded it. After deciding to leave their trine leader alone after what just happened, they headed to their room for a much needed recharge.

"Since when did Soundwave become so bold?" Skywarp asked as they turned a corner. The med bay was ahead and they briefly peered in to see Soundwave lying down with Hook hard at work repairing his arm before they continued to their room.

"I know you're a bit slow but come on, it's pretty obvious." Thundercracker replied. When all he got in response was a confused look, he sighed and explained, "No way Soundwave would've done that without Megatron's say so. He probably thought he wasn't fit to be his second after his latest trip to planet stasis and so he let loose his pet on Screamer." Thundercracker snorted before continuing, "Bet that surprised the circuits out of both of them. I've never seen him move that fast before."

"Me either. Do you think it has something to do with the other night?" Skywarp asked.

"I don't know…maybe." Thundercracker hesitated before continuing, "Warp, has Starscream ever talked about what he used to do before he met us?"

"Yeah, he was a scientist before he joined the decepticons." Skywarp answered as they made their way through the empty corridors.

"I don't know. Remember when we dug up Skyfire? He said that it'd been about 8 million years since his crash."

"Oooook, what does that have to do with anything?" Skywarp asked.

"He joined the decepticons roughly, what, 7 million years ago?" When he noticed he wasn't getting anywhere with him, he elaborated his point. "What happened between the time he and Skyfire were separated and when he joined the decepticons?"

"I don't know," Skywarp shrugged, "science stuff. What, you think it has something to do with how crazy he is? How do you know his head wasn't as loose as a bucket of bolts then like it is now?"

"I don't know, but..."he stopped when he realized they were standing outside their room. Thundercracker glanced to his sides to make sure no one was around. Before he continued, he pushed the code to open the door to their quarters and entered with Skywarp following him in.

"But what?"

"Look, did you feel something strange after the link up?"

"Yeah, but it's Starscream we're talking about. How can you not feel something strange?" he laughed.

"I'm being serious. There's still something not right with him. I don't think he even wanted to link up with us, I think he just used it to try and stop whatever it is that's wrong with him."

Skywarp's expression changed completely as he took in what Thundercracker was saying.

"You think he just…used us?" Skywarp slowly asked, unable to hide the hurt in his voice.

"Yes…no…I don't know. All I know is there is something wrong with him and I can't figure it out." He said dejectedly.

"No slag, but what's that got to do with Skyfire and his time before the decepticons? And what's that have to do with what just happened? He kicked aft, there's nothing wrong with that. And not even Starscream would use the link for selfish reasons."

"I don't know, maybe I am putting too much into this. I just can't let it go." Thundercracker sighed.

"Look, what does it matter? He's here with us and he seems happier than I've seen him in a long time. Can't we just be happy for him and figure out how we're going to finally win this fraggin' war?"

"That's the thing, 'Warp, I don't think he's ever been happy."

Before Skywarp could respond there was a rather loud knock, signaling who was on the other side of the door. Skywarp and Thundercracker looked at each other before the blue seeker walked to the door and let their trine leader in.

"Can you believe the nerve of that glitch?" Starscream asked as he made his way to their birth and plopped himself down. "His _pet_ is lucky to still have his fragging arm, I could've severed it. It would've made a nice souvenir, don't you think?" he asked with a smile.

"Are you okay?" Thundercracker asked.

"Of course I'm okay! I just need you to take a look at my wing. I figured that idiot went to the med bay so I came here instead. One of my navigational relays is damaged and I can't reach it."

Thundercracker crossed the room as he removed a tool from his subspace and Starscream shifted so he could have easier access. As Thundercracker looked closely at the wound, he knew it must have been pretty painful but Starscream didn't show any signs of discomfort. There were long, deep gashes made by Soundwave's grip when he tore at the pliable metal.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" Skywarp asked as he joined his trine mates on the berth. When Starscream didn't answer right away, they figured the subject was off limits.

"Someone taught me a long time ago." Starscream quietly answered.

"Then why do you let Megatron beat the living scrap out-" Skywarp started but stopped when Starscream shot him a cold look. Now _that_ subject was off limits.

"I can't believe Megatron did that." Thundercracker said, cutting the tension.

"I'm not surprised. To be honest, I knew something like this was going to happen but I figured it would be Megatron, not that aft kissing droid. He's never had someone else challenge me." Starscream said wincing as Thundercracker repaired the damaged relay.

"Well believe me when I tell you the whole base is talking about your little skirmish." The blue seeker replied. "By the way, who was it that taught you how to move like that? I have to say I've never seen you do anything like that before."

Starscream remained silent as he thought of an answer. He knew he should've stuck to his normal dirty tactics which would've included his null rays or if needed, optic gouging to beat Soundwave but it just didn't seem good enough anymore. Even so, he did hate physical violence like most seekers as they were meant for the skies, not hand to hand combat.

"It doesn't matter. All I know is Soundwave and hopefully Megatron will keep their distance and that's all that- _OOWWWW_!!!" he cried out as Thundercracker hit a sensitive node in his wing. "Be careful!"

"All done." he said as he subspaced the tool away. "Your internals should repair the rest." As Starscream turned around, Thundercracker nuzzled his face, making the scowling mech calm down.

"How about we get slag faced and celebrate the awesome aft kicking that ol' Screamer here gave that aft kissing glitch?" Skywarp asked excitedly.

"I don't think so, I'm pretty drained." Starscream said while getting to his peds.

"Aawww come on Screamer! Let's have some fun!" the purple seeker pleaded.

"Maybe next time, right now, I've got a berth calling my name." Starscream said as he made his way out of their room. He uttered a quick thanks to Thundercracker before he left.

After a few moments, Skywarp had another idea of having some fun, "Well, now that he's all better, why don't you fix me?" Skywarp asked seductively.

"What-" he couldn't finish before Skywarp was all over him, his lips kissing and nipping sensitive spots on his body, making him forget about everything else.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

He just didn't know what to make of the whole situation. Starscream's reflexes should have been hindered from his injury but the exact opposite was true. The traitor had managed not only to dispatch Soundwave, he did so in a dominate fashion. Whatever the reason, he was convinced that this was merely a glimpse of what the seeker was hiding, something that caused white hot anger to flow through his internals. As he sat at his desk brooding, the door finally chimed. He hit the button under his desk that opened it, letting in both the newly repaired Soundwave and Hook. Megatron couldn't help but notice the fresh weld line on Soundwave's face mask as he strode in.

"You'll wait outside." He commanded Hook, who nodded and stepped back out. "Soundwave, report."

"Observation: Heightened reflexes and speed. Reasons: Unknown. Unable to penetrate seeker telepathy."

"You couldn't register anything at all?" Megatron asked, hoping somehow the seekers mental abilities would be hindered after his time spent in stasis.

"Negative. Access remains limited. Unable to penetrate desired areas. Examples: Thoughts and memories. Emotions remain readable."

"What emotion did you sense?"

"Multiple emotions noted: Anger, annoyance, disgust, frustration, guilt, hatred, hostility, love, jealousy-,"

"Love?" Megatron interrupted, "He felt love?" Megatron asked incredulously.

"Affirmative."

"Love for what?" Megatron asked as his curiosity peaked.

"Unknown."

"How could he have felt so many emotions at once?"

"Observation: emotions in constant state of flux. Difficult to process at times. If high amount of emotional chaos noted, read terminated."

"You mean to tell me that sometimes you can't even register his emotions? How long has this been going on?"

"Difficulty consistently present." Soundwave answered as he rubbed his newly repaired arm.

The gray leader sat back in his chair as he processed this new information. So, Starscream was even more unstable than he thought. However, that didn't explain the hidden skills he displayed.

"What do you make of how he fought?"

"Unable to process." he said, his voice not betraying the rage coursing through his fuel lines at the memory of his humiliation.

"Here is your new order. Since your observations of Starscream have proved to be futile, I want you to keep a closer eye on his trine. I want to know if there is anything that is out of the ordinary with them. You are to tell no one, understood?"

"Affirmative."

"Let's talk to our skilled medic and ask him a few questions. I want you to tell me if Hook is hiding anything regarding this and if he is you're to find out what that is." Megatron ordered. After Soundwave nodded, Megatron had the telepath retrieve Hook from outside, who followed the telepath in as they both now stood before the decepticon leader.

"Yes, Lord Megatron?" the nervous mech asked, praying to Primus he was going to make it out of this in one piece.

"You know, I've seen a lot of mech's in my day blow processor relays and every time that they did, they were never the same again. Can you tell me why Starscream is not only functioning at optimal levels but is faster than he ever was before?" He asked with his voice laced with false friendliness.

"I can't explain it." Hook answered as the feeling of being mentally prodded by Soundwave overtook him. Even though he was not telepathic, being a gestalt, he usually could deflect him elsewhere in his processor files just as he would when he connected to his fellow contructicons.

"Don't lie to me, Hook. Why are you covering for him anyway? What has Starscream ever done for you?"

"I'm not-," he was unable to finish as Soundwave fully assaulted his memory files, scattering his subroutines in the process. He felt as if his head was splitting open as he shut is optics off, concentrating on fighting the telepath back. But as he did, he was unable to stop him from accessing certain memory files regarding the seeker and their dealings. When he felt the sudden withdrawal of Soundwave's presence, he knew his fate was sealed and he on-lined his optics only to find Megatron directly in front of him.

"Soundwave?" Megatron asked the telepath while not breaking his stare at the medic.

"Information gathered: Starscream entered stasis as direct result of high synthetic levels present in fuel lines. Synthetic supplied by Hook on regular basis. Hook noted high rate of consumption but continued to supply requested amounts."

"Is that so? Not only did you lie but you have been carelessly wasting _my_ valuable energon to supply Starscream of all mechs with however much of your high grade he wanted. Is this correct?" Megatron asked as he clinched his fists. "Tell me Hook, what happens to those who purposely deceive me?"

Hook couldn't find the nerve to answer him right away. He briefly admired Starscream for showing defiance in these types of situations. It was usually only after Megatron would start to beat him that the seeker would crack.

"Answer me!"

Before he could answer, Megatron backhanded the medic, sending him crashing to the ground. Now, as Hook was trembling on the floor, he was finally able to muster a response as he whimpered "I…don't know. Please don't hurt me."

Megatron looked down at the petrified mech and felt pity for the stupid fool. What made Hook think he could keep anything a secret was beyond him but after hearing his pathetic response, he didn't feel the need to deal the beating that he normally would. Come to think of it, it was really only Starscream who was graced with this type of attention.

"If you ever attempt to deceive me again, I will make a fine example of you. Do you understand?" Megatron asked, his optics glowing a deep shade of red at the threat.

"Yes, sir!" he answered eagerly as he was overcome with relief at not being beaten into a pile of scrap.

"As punishment for your little charade, I have a job for you. I'll let you know what it is in due time, do you understand?"

"Understood." he gratefully answered as he rose up from the cold floor.

"Now get out of here before I change my mind." he said with disgust as he turned and walked away from the medic.

As Hook made his exit, Megatron asked him one more question.

"One more thing before you run like the coward you are. What is your true assessment of our air commander?" he asked, staring out of the large window overlooking the vast, dark ocean. Hook looked down before he looked at his leader and answered.

"I have no idea what his malfunction is. He's always been strange." Hook replied, hoping Megatron would be satisfied with his answer. When the gray warlord simply nodded, Hook made his exit, thanking Primus with each step as he left the two commanders alone.

"Inquiry: Presence further required?" Soundwave asked, unable to hide the exhaustion after his mental attack on Hook drained the little energy he had remaining.

"No." Megatron answered, unable to wrap his mind around everything he had seen and heard. He faintly heard the retreating form of his TIC as he exited the room. He turned to his desk and pulled from his drawer a cube of high grade, the same synthetic that nearly off-lined his SIC. None of this made sense to the warlord. Starscream was obviously in top physical condition. Why would he risk permanently damaging his internals by over consuming high grade? Whatever was going on, he was going to get to the bottom of it, one way or another.

_

* * *

_

_Okay, I didn't want the first love makin' to be Thundercracker and Skywarp. Sorry! You'll see who I have in mind soon enough. Hehe!_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N:** First off, I'm SO SORRY for the long pause in this story, I've just been really, REALLY busy. But I promise not to stop this story, i hate when authors stop in the middle of thier stories and I refuse to do that! ENJOY!_

_

* * *

_

'_You have a special spark, remember that my binary.'_

Starscream awoke with a start, nearly hitting his helm against the wall as he jumped off the birth, his breathing intakes working hard as they expelled the heat that radiated through his systems. He shut off his optics, waiting for the anxiety that ran rampant through his circuits to die down. After a few moments his systems did indeed return to normal and he on-lined his optics, scanning around the dark room for any indication of tampering, something that had become a habit during his eons as a decepticon. He sighed miserably, wanting nothing more than to recharge in peace. Instead, he entered his wash racks, turning on the warm spray of the specially treated water. He looked at himself in the large reflective surface, staring at the red optics that looked back as memories of long ago danced across his processor. Gradually he felt his emotions starting to churn again. "FRAG IT ALL TO THE PIT!" he cursed as he smashed his fist into the mirror, shattering it to pieces. He shook his head and entered the stall, letting the warm water wash over him as he started to think about how much he missed flying as it did help him relieve stress. It had been a week since he felt the wonderful sensation of wind rushing over his wings and nothing sounded better.

After he was done, he quickly downed a cube of energon and made his way to the tower. It was not unusual for anyone, seekers especially, to leave at will, though they did have to keep within a certain distance of the base, not that he ever did anyway. Once he was done logging how long he would be gone, he gave Scrapper a nod who in return gave a rather nasty scowl as the tower was raised and the early morning sunshine danced across his gleaming frame. He stood on the platform for a moment, already feeling better from leaving the confines of the dark base. Without a second thought, he ignited his turbines and lifted himself in the air as he stayed in his robot mode, simply wanting to fly in no particular direction. He circled uninhabited islands that were nearby the base and watched as his presence scattered the wildlife on the ground. He smiled to himself as they reminded him of his fellow decepticons when Megatron would enter a room in a foul mood. He soon grew bored of the slow speed he was going and transformed into his jet mode, kicking his turbines to full power as he shot straight up in the air. After he cleared the clouds, he cut off his thrusters and transformed, losing himself to the feeling of weightlessness before gravity took hold as he began free falling to the earth below. He watched as the ocean became closer and more detailed and turned off all navigational readings which were flashing warnings of impending collision. Not until he could clearly see the white tops of the larger waves did he transform yet again while kicking his turbines into high gear once more, soaring just over the water below as he twisted his form into perfectly coordinated rolls, the tips of his wings grazing the surface of the cold water creating streams of water behind him as he rolled over and over until he shot straight up in the air again to repeat the long neglected dance that came naturally to him. For this one rare and precious moment, he was at peace with himself.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Megatron was _pissed_. Soundwave didn't need his telepathy to read that fact. Their leader stormed into the command center, his optics scanning the room in vain for their missing SIC, who had not returned from his morning flight. Usually, it would've gone unnoticed, but because he did so on the eve of battle, Megatron was surely going to punish him when he returned, especially since it was now late in the evening and he'd been missing for the entire earth day. The thought made the blue telepath smile beneath his mask. He was still sore at the seeker for humiliating him and he found pleasure in knowing he was more than likely going to be reduced to a pile of bleeding metal upon his return. He watched as Megatron sat at his throne, his digits rubbing beneath his chin, a definite sign of violence when the seeker returned.

Soundwave turned his attention to Starscream's trine mates, who were at their respective posts. He read their emotions and found them highly concerned, figuring they felt these emotions for their missing leader.

"Skywarp, Thundercracker, where has that pathetic leader of yours gone off to now?" Megatron growled from his throne, breaking Soundwave's focus on said seekers.

"Lord Megatron, we…we d-don't know. He didn't tell us he was leaving." Thundercracker responded, looking scared for his own wellbeing.

"Well, don't you think you should look for him? I would hate to see what happens to you if he doesn't return soon." Megatron hissed, letting the not so subtle threat linger. It was not unusual for Megatron to direct his anger at Starscream's trine in his absence.

"Yes, Lord Megatron, we will find him immediately!" the blue seeker quickly responded, to which he and Skywarp practically ran out of the room towards the tower.

Soundwave looked to his leader, who sat looking about as enraged as he'd ever seen him. He was definitely looking forward to Starscream's return.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Not until he noticed how dark it was getting did he realize that he'd spent the entire day completely airborne, perfecting aerial maneuvers that only a select few would even attempt. He also noticed how low his energy reserves were and cursed himself for his tendency to become so engrossed in what he was doing that he hadn't noticed how in need of fuel he was. He frowned when he realized that he'd also flown much farther than he intended and it would take nearly three earth hours and most of what was left in his reserves to make it back. Then his features darkened even more at the thought of Megatron upon his arrival back at base and the sure fury he would have to deal with.

He let out a sigh as he started back towards base, flying underside up as he watched the night sky and had to admit that it was almost as beautiful as the skies of Cybertron. Nearly halfway there, he suddenly felt his very spark shutter, sending him spiraling out of control but he quickly recovered. He hovered just above the cloud cover, clutching his cockpit as the discomfort subsided, leaving him feeling bewildered and even weaker. "What in…the frag?" he asked out loud between fast, shallow intakes of air. Now, he was in serious danger of not making it back and without hesitation, he rocketed forward, activating his communication systems that he had turned off, trying to comm. his trine mates as warning messages flared in his vision. He tried to scan below for a place to land in case he didn't make it but all he could see was churning water as he passed over a storm that spanned across his entire view. He figured that was the reason for his failed attempts to contact his trine. He knew he probably wouldn't make it back and with no land in sight, panic set in. He frantically tried to reach his trine but when he was getting nowhere, he had no choice but to send a general distress signal to anyone in the vicinity. As he watched his energy levels steadily drop, he detected an energy signal closing in on him and relief washed over his systems. However, the feeling was short lived as his right thruster shut off, quickly followed by his left one and he began free falling towards the ocean ad he was barely able to keep himself on-line. Before the blackness could claim him, he felt arms wrap around him and he on lined his optics only long enough to see his savior and he felt his intakes hitch at the sight.

"No, it can't be you. That's impossible." he mumbled before he faded into the blackness.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

When he came on line, the first thing he noticed was the dark, purple walls of the decepticon base. The second thing he noticed was all the peds that surrounded him. He slightly panicked at the loss of how he ended up this way but memories of low fuel warnings coupled with the black ocean below before his memory went blank reminded him. He looked up when he realized that there was a heated argument in progress as he felt the cold drips of water hit him and noticed that his trine stood to his left and right, their frames dripping with water as they were yelling at someone. When he tried to speak, the room became silent as their focus shifted to him. He watched as both Skywarp and Thundercracker bent down and picked him up by his shoulders, propping him up with their own wet bodies and he noticed that he too was soaked. He tried to speak again but he found he was too weak to say anything coherent. Instead, a cube of energon appeared in front of his optics and he hungrily drank from the offered cube. Only after finishing, he noticed it was Skywarp who held it for him and he shot him a grateful look. He looked forward and realized it was Soundwave in the entrance of the tower room, watching them intently.

"What do you want?" he managed to ask as he slightly staggered away from his trine mates, feeling much better with energon in his system.

"Order: Report to Lord Megatron immediately." The blue telepath flatly stated, his voice not betraying the excitement he felt at the thought of the seeker after his "meeting" with Megatron.

"Go now lapdog, you've done your duty." Starscream half heartedly muttered while sending the telepath a dismissive wave of his servo and turned to his trinemates. He didn't actually see the blue mech leave but heard the door close and instantly his trine broke into a frenzied state.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Skywarp screamed with his servos on his hips.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED WE WERE?" Thundercracker chimed in equally loud. "DO YOU KNOW HOW FRAGGIN' PISSED MEGATRON IS?" he continued.

"Look, it was not intentional. I just…lost track of time." Starscream sheepishly admitted.

"YOU LOST TRACK OF TIME?" Skywarp disbelievingly repeated.

"Yes, you know, to not know what time it is." Starscream sarcastically answered. He was actually amused by their ranting.

"Starscream, this isn't funny. Megatron is going to have your helm mounted on his wall for this." Thundercracker stated a bit more calmly now. "How could you let yourself go into power lock? Didn't you notice your fuel levels? Skywarp had to give you a small transfer on the way back." He instantly wished he'd left that part out but it was too late. The seeker narrowed his eyes and directed his angry gaze at Skywarp, who took a slight step back. The red seeker didn't say anything right away but his trine knew exactly what he was thinking.

"We'll discuss this later." He darkly stated before he turned and went for the door. Before he was gone, he shot back the coldest glare they'd ever seen on him.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Megatron was in his personal quarters when the message was received that Starscream was back at base. He clutched his data pad and sat back, letting out an exhausted sigh. His mind wandered to all the wonderful tortures he could put the fragging seeker through but decided that improvisation was much better and a lot more satisfying. Though he had to admit that he couldn't fully take his out his anger just yet, he did have a battle tomorrow after all and as much as he hated to admit it, he was actually counting on the ridiculously idiotic seeker. Then the thought occurred to him that the seeker must have had the same idea in mind and knew the gray leader really couldn't do anything about it. Not yet anyway and that thought recharged the anger that was coursing through his systems. He lifted himself from his desk and walked over to the large window that spanned nearly an entire wall in his rather modest quarters. He rarely saw anything of interest outside of it but the visual somewhat helped him focus on his problems, mainly Starscream and his traitorous acts.

He didn't know how long he had stood there thinking about the red seeker before he heard the chime of someone at his door. He knew who it was and his red optics turned a shade darker as he walked back to his desk and sat with his digits instinctively rubbing his chin. He heard the chime again but decided to make the seeker wait until he was ready to let him in. He simply sat back and eyed the door intently. Then after what seemed like an eternity, he pressed the button that opened the door and revealed the red seeker on the other side. He caught the seeker rubbing his optics rather wearily. Starscream didn't jump but quickly dropped his hand when he noticed the door had been opened.

"You requested my presence, mighty Megatron." He didn't ask but stated as he stepped into the room.

Megatron didn't respond at first. He studied the seekers demeanor and took note of his almost casual attitude. Now not only was he angry but confused. Starscream always tensed when he entered the leaders' quarters, usually because he knew of the punishment that awaited him. But he seemed almost relaxed if not bothered at being there. Then he noticed that Starscream's voice lacked it usual sarcastic tone at the end of his sentence. He sat back and regarded the seeker for a few moments more. He noticed the edginess creeping back on the frame of the seeker and realized that not saying anything was starting to get to the traitor. He inwardly smiled and kept up his silence.

Starscream hadn't really worried about Megatron, he knew what the plan was for the upcoming raid and to be very honest, he really didn't fear what punishment Megatron inflicted on him regardless, he was sure he'd been through it before. He stood there, waiting on the gray leader to come unhinged and begin either screaming or beating him. What he didn't count on was the silence, which made him uneasy. As it continued, he felt a chill run down his spinal track. Never before had the leader simply sat there and not say or do anything. He could no longer hold his gaze on the leader and he shifted his optics to the window to the right of him. He figured it was better than looking at the floor or even worse, Megatron's belongings. When he still felt Megatron's optics on him, his uneasiness multiplied tenfold. He took in a cycle of air before he turned his gaze back to his leader and decided to put a stop to this awkward silence and he knew what to do.

"Do you want to admire me more or do you have a point to all of this? Because really, this is pretty pathetic." Starscream inwardly cringed at his own words because he knew they meant pain but he just wanted out, either on his own two peds or on a medical board. Anything was better than Megatron simply staring at him.

Megatron knew he was being baited but he couldn't hold back the surge of anger that took hold of him and before he knew it, he'd launched himself at the mouthy traitor and connected his fist to his midsection, sending the smart mouthed idiot staggering back into the wall. He watched as Starscream doubled over but surprisingly the red seeker began to rise almost immediately.

"Finally, for a moment there," he started but paused at the sharp pain in his midsection from rising from his bent frame, "I thought you'd blown the few intelligence chips your antique model possessed."

Megatron moved fast because before Starscream knew it, he felt himself lifted off the ground by his throat. He wasn't all that worried though, this position was expected.

"Who's the one with the few intelligence chips? From my view, I would say it's you, you worthless traitor." Megatron almost whispered. His hold tightened, cutting Starscream's airway as Megatron's optics turned a deeper crimson before he launched the seeker into the now vacant desk. He heard the tall tale sound of something definitely breaking in the seeker when he hit the edge of the desk.

Starscream let out a hiss on impact and instantly a warning sign flared about a ruptured joint and fuel line in his shoulder. He looked at the wound and noticed energon starting to seep out of it. He fought back the urge to spit a sharp tongued retort and instead opted to remain silent and hopefully Megatron would soon be done with his punishment. He rose slowly and hid the surprise at Megatron being right behind him. However, he didn't back away and instead, stood his ground with his optics locked on the gray leaders' deep, crimson ones.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" Megatron roared as he unleashed his anger when he again lifted the seeker off the ground by his throat.

"I…was…flying…lost…time…" The strangled seeker barely managed through the death grip on this neck. Not surprisingly, he saw Megatrons' fist coming for his face. He would've let out a bored sigh if he wasn't in his current situation. Megatron's fist hit its mark and he nearly blacked out on impact from his already weakened condition. Energon flowed over his left optic as more warning signs flared in his vision but he ignored them and looked back down at his leader from his still lifted position.

"Do not think that you being a part of tomorrow's plan will save you." Megatron deeply growled as he sunk his fist into the seeker's midsection. He smiled at the cry that escaped the traitor and promptly dropped him. "Where is that confident seeker now?" He asked, referring to the fight between Starscream and Soundwave. He looked as the still silent Starscream clutched his side and landed a kick to the already damaged side, sending Starscream flying towards the door. He watched as the seeker scraped to a stop on the floor. He turned and casually sat back down at his desk before he finished, "Pray that you do not disappoint tomorrow, little idiot. This conversation is far from over."

Starscream choked back the coughs that threatened to wrack his frame as he tasted the bitter energon that came up his throat. He'd sustained internal injuries that needed to be fixed sooner rather than later and he fought to rise from his position. The burning in his side flared as he stood and he nearly blacked out again. He clinched his teeth and quickly gathered his strength before he lightly bowed his head and made his exit. He staggered his way down the hall as energon began to trickle from his mouth. As he made his way to the med bay and after a few minutes of damning Megatron to the deepest part of the pit, he thought of his trine. He really didn't mean to get upset with them but they knew of his stance on power transfers. That topic would have to wait until later because he was in for a painful visit with Hook first.

* * *

_I promise, the next update won't take 5 freakin' months!_


End file.
